Our minds are so incredibly powerful. But if we aren’t aware of our state of mind, it’s easy to fall into stress and anxiety. While trying to get pregnant it’s easy to become obsessed with the whole process. It doesn’t help when friends are posting pregnancy announcements on social media, which causes us to feel like we are missing out. If you are feeling overwhelmed with TTC, these 8 Tips for Changing Your Mindset To Get Pregnant will help to get you back on track!
Your mental health is so important. This doesn’t mean that you have to stay positive and happy all the time, because that’s simply unrealistic (toxic positive is a thing!). It just means that your overall mindset to get pregnant should be a forgiving, healthy and productive one!
How Does Mindset Affect Fertility?
There is no scientific evidence that fertility is affected by our mindset. But your thoughts surrounding getting pregnant, and where you are in that process, can affect your stress levels.
If you feel like you have somewhat control over your fertility, then you will most likely take the necessary steps to seek proactive care. If you feel helpless about your situation, then it’s likely that you might sit back and accept that you’ll never have a baby.
8 Tips To Change Your Mindset To Get Pregnant
1. Evaluate where you are now.
Start from the moment you decided that you want to have a baby. What have you done since then to try and make that happen? If you feel overwhelmed just thinking about it, start with a list of concrete accomplishments.
If you are more of a verbal processor, talk to someone that you trust. Word Vomit is completely allowed. It doesn’t have to start out making sense! You may go off into tangents and those tangents might turn into hidden truths that lie in your subconscious, revealing roadblocks and anxieties that you may or may not have known exist.
Through this process, you may detect patterns of repetitive or unhealthy behaviors or thoughts that would be helpful to change. For example, if you find that you’re measuring your self-worth on your fertility then maybe it’s time to take a break from trying to conceive and focus on other goals in your life. Evaluating your current emotional and physical state will help you identify what’s best for you going forward. It will also help you realize how much you have done already!
2. Be Present + Find Joy
We often fixate on the things we don’t have and view them as deficiencies. When this happens, there’s no room for the things that make us feel good.
- Make a conscious effort to incorporate these things in your life.
- Daily routines and rituals are a great way to help us stay grounded and present, so we momentarily forget about past failures. They also make us feel safe because they are familiar, which is much needed when fertility struggles make us feel isolated and alone.
- Whether it’s your morning cup of coffee, your skincare routine or reciting a prayer before bed, it’s important to spend some time every day in the present.
Try listing 10 things you are grateful for everyday is a productive way to find joy in what you have. This exercise is not meant to make you feel that you are ungrateful about those things, it’s meant to show you that fertility challenges don’t define you. You have a lot to offer to the world and it’s about time that you celebrate all those strengths!
3. Use PositiveAffirmations, Quote or Bible Verses
“In tough moments, I will take the time to feel and then take the time to heal.”
Using positive affirmations, quotes, or Bible Verses will help you to focus on what is true. Sometimes we become so focused on what we want and don’t have that we forget all the good things in our life. Once we start reminding ourselves of the good, it not only will make us happier but will also reduce stress!
- Use I am Statements
- I am doing the best I can with what I know.
- “It’s going to be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” – Anonymous
- Bible Verse
- “Also delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this: he will make your righteousness shine out like light, and your justice as the noon day sun. Rest in Yahweh, and wait patiently for him. Don’t fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who makes wicked plots happen.” Psalm 37:4-7
Use the affirmation above to visualize the future. The next month that you try, no matter the outcome, you will get through it.
Mel Robbins has an AWESOME video that she did for a Mindset Reset Program. She talks through the science behind it, along with how to begin visualizing your future.
This might not be easy at first, but after some practice you will begin to see your mind shift! If you need pictures to help you visualize, try creating a dream board. Often times, creating a storyline in your mind helps too! (Example: Take pregnancy test, Get a positive test, tell husband, announce tog family….. etc.)
5. Correct bad habits
Take some time and energy to focus on correcting habits that you said you would change but haven’t. Whether its diet, exercise or mindfulness, there is always room for improvement and what better time then now!
Creating a healthy space inside your body, and around you might just be what baby is waiting for! Focusing on things you do have control over will feel empowering with all the constant uncertainty in your current life. It will also make you feel productive during the long periods of waiting that come with trying to get pregnant.
6. Be kind to yourself.
When trying to conceive naturally becomes hard, many women fall into a pattern of blame. Blaming themselves for what their body can’t do. Feeling like they are at fault for not doing x, y or z.
If you start to go down that road remember that no matter what, your journey will follow the course it was meant to, and nothing can or could have changed that.
- Observe your internal narrative (to evaluate, imagine saying the same things to your loved one) and if it’s harsh and unforgiving, try to change it.
- Make a list of things you’re good at to help soften that voice and make it more empathetic. Not all things are in your control and that’s okay. You’re doing the best that you can and that’s enough. YOU are enough.
7. Don’t put your life on hold.
It’s easy to get swept up in the possibility of becoming pregnant as soon as you start trying. But don’t lose yourself in that possibility before it becomes a reality. Yes, things may change drastically after you have a baby but right now, and until you know otherwise, they are the same.
You had hopes, dreams and aspirations before you decided that you want to get pregnant and you can continue working towards them now. Make the decision to deal with changes when they come up and, in the meantime, do the things that make you happy whether it’s advancing your career, furthering your education or picking up that hobby you said you’d always make time for. You have a lot more time now then you would with a baby, so get started now!
8. Find someone to talk to.
There are way too many emotions, feelings and thoughts associated with fertility to sort through all by yourself and still be sane by the end of it all. Find someone you trust and feel comfortable telling your story to. It could be a close friend, a professional, or someone who you’ve never met but happens to be going through something similar.
These are all great resources to have in your corner during the two week waits, fertility diagnosis and fertility treatments. Isolating yourself adds unnecessary stress and shame to all the baggage you already carry. Save your energy for the more important obstacles.
Fertility challenges are emotionally and physically exhausting. Acknowledge that the journey is hard and changing your mindset will help you to get pregnant. Allow yourself to feel every emotion that comes your way. But, also take the time to heal from the bad stuff because it will make you stronger and help you continue down the road to motherhood.
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