Why Hasn’t God Given Me a Child?

It is easy to be angry with God for infertility, miscarriage or the loss of a child. We can’t help but question” Why hasn’t God given me a child? Which can lead to doubt in His goodness. Then we wonder if there is purpose in our grief. Does He hear our prayers for a child or care that we are hurting?

Sweet sister, you are not alone in asking these questions. There are many of us have sat right where you are. While some of us are sitting next to you in this very moment and are asking God why. Why can’t I have a child? Is there a reason my body won’t carry a child to term?

Grab a cup of coffee and spend a few minutes walking through this with me.

Let’s talk about anger and if it is sinful.
Let’s chat about how to get through this pain and if it has purpose.
Most of all, let’s remember God’s faithfulness and explore His Word together.

He wants to use the hard season to make us beautiful. Though our hearts may feel hopeless, let us never forget that there is hope in the One who is redeeming all things for His glory and our good.

Our world has been wrecked with sin. When Adam and Eve chose to disobey in the garden, sin and death affected all of creation. Today, the evidence of the curse surrounds us and creations groans for redemption. This groaning is clear through natural disaster, broken relationships, and death. Our world is broken and hurting – in desperate need of our Savior.

Unfortunately, our wombs are not exempt from the effects of the fall. Even though Jesus died on the cross for our sins, our bodies, just like all of creation, await being made new and set free from the curse of sin. We get sick, suffer with depression, break bones, miscarry sweet babies, and struggle with conceiving. But this is a result of mankind’s choice to doubt God’s faithfulness in the garden.

He is in Control of Our Womb

Despite the effects of sin, God is still sovereign overall and is the One who forms life in our inmost beings. He opens and closes wombs for His own glory.

He is always good and his timing is perfect. Though we may never realize the “why” of His timing, His Word tells us that He is working all things for good. If He is trustworthy to save us from our sin, He can be trusted to give us a child in His time. Sometimes, we must wait a very long time for that perfect timing. During those times of waiting, we can choose to run to Him or turn from Him in bitterness.

Throughout Scripture, we see faithful men and women drawing near to the Father’s arms in times of waiting. Job never knew why he was suffering, but he trusted in God’s goodness. Habakkuk did not understand the heartache he saw in Israel, but he chose nearness over bitterness.

We suffer with infertility as an effect of the fall. Thankfully, God offers hope in that He is good and His timing is perfect. Despite the hurt around us, He is redeeming all things for His glory and will one day wipe away every tear from our eyes. We must trust that the Author of Life opens and closes wombs in His timing, for His glory and our good.

Is It Okay To Be Angry With God for My Infertility?

“O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear…?” Habakkuk 1:2

Habakkuk gives us a great example of what it means to wrestle with God over something. The nation of Israel had sinned….yet again. As a result, the Chaldeans were being raised up to bring judgment upon the land and turn the nation of Israel back to God. Habakkuk was angry and he made it known. However, in his anger he turned to God for answers.

It is ok to be angry and to question God. Scripture even tells us that we are allowed to be angry. However, we are not to sin in our anger. God wants us to run to Him in our hurt and pain.

In our waiting, He wants our hearts. The joy in our suffering is that it brings us closer to Christ. It shows us that only Jesus can satisfy and fill our hearts.

How To Strengthen Your Faith?

Sweet sister, I said it before and I’ll say it again. Run to Jesus. Habakkuk chose to run to the Lord for answers instead of becoming bitter in his anger.

Habakkuk’s Story

In chapter one, Habakkuk issues his complaint before the Lord. In chapter two, he takes his stand at his watch post and waits upon the Lord to answer Him. Finally, Habakkuk ends his conversation with the Lord in praise and remembrance. The situation of Israel has not changed, but Habakkuk’s heart has. He has run the Lord and resolved to trust in his goodness, despite Israel’s circumstances.

What we can learn from Habakkuk

There is so much we can learn from Habakkuk’s encounter with the Lord. When it comes to being angry over infertility and child loss, God wants to hear the cries of our hearts. Just like Habakkuk, He wants us to pour out our hurt and anger to Him. He wants us to dig deep into His promises and remember who He is.

God is good and near. He is kind and He loves us. Even through the hurt, He is redeeming our broken world. One day He will wipe away every tear.

Only God, not a child, can satisfy our longing hearts. He is the Author of Life. Every single child is knit together by Him, in His timing and for His glory. We must trust that His timing is perfect and His heart for us is love.

How to Pray Through This Season of Struggle?

Keep in mind that God cares about our hearts. There is comfort in knowing that Hannah was barren for years. Throughout this time, she begged God to bless her with a son. She was a messy crier – like mascara running down the face, looks like a drunk lady crier.

But, Hannah poured out her heart to the Lord and trusted in His sovereignty over all things. Despite her fears, she trusted in his timing and He gave her a son, Samuel. Samuel was born in God’s perfect time and the Lord raised Him up to be an instrumental leader in Israel’s history.

We don’t need to be afraid to pour out our hearts before the Lord. It is ok to be like Hannah. God wants your messy cries. He wants you to pour of your complaint before Him like Habakkuk did. He wants you to draw near and cry out to Him. God wants us to depend on Him and learn to trust in His goodness and timing.

This season of waiting is about Jesus. It is about drawing into Him and remembering his promises. Turn to Him and trust His perfect timing. Remember, even if that test doesn’t show two lines, God is still good. He is still redeeming all things through the blood of His Son. One day, He will wipe away every tear from your eye. There will be no more waiting and longing, because we will be complete in Him.

Verses To Comfort You Through Infertility

Psalm 119:69

“You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your statutes.”

Habakkuk 3:17 – 19

“For though the fig tree doesn’t flourish, nor fruit be in the vines, the labor of the olive fails, the fields yield no food, the flocks are cut off from the fold, and there is no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in Yahweh. I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! Yahweh, the Lord, is my strength. He makes my feet like deer’s feet, and enables me to go in high places.”

Psalm 34:18

“Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.”

Even if Not, He is Still Good

Trusting in God’s sovereignty is hard and being angry with Him for your infertility is so easy, especially when we are in a season of waiting. However, we must trust that nothing is wasted and God is working all things for good. He has a purpose for you in the wait. He wants us to realize that our hope is found in Christ alone, not in mothering.

Regardless of where you are on your journey, keep running to Him. Write His promises on your doorposts. Remind yourself of His goodness. This longing and hurt will not last forever. God is faithful to redeem even in this.

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