If there’s one thing I wasn’t quite prepared for when my daughter arrived, it was the instinct to worry. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I still missed out on some of the most precious moments of her life. As a mama, you want to learn how to enjoy your baby’s first year, which is why I’ll be sharing my top tips on how to stop worrying about your baby!
It seems like from the moment you find out you’re pregnant, you start feeling this overwhelming need to protect and care for your baby. While I’m pretty sure this is something all parents are given to help keep their little one safe and healthy, at times it can get out of hand.
Sometimes, our worries and fears about our children can feel overwhelming. When your little one has their first cold or falls for the first time, it can send us into a downward spiral of worry. But, it doesn’t have to always be that way.
My Story of WORRY as a Mama
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I began worrying about the safety of my daughter. There was this intense feeling of love that sparked the need to protect her growing body. Should I be eating that? Is this workout safe? Is this cleaner harmful to my baby? My mind was constantly filled with questions like these.
I thought I would give birth and things would magically change. I thought my intuition would kick in and being a mom would just come naturally. But minutes after my daughter was born, she was rushed away for low oxygen levels. Anxiety overcame my entire body. For the next week, I spent each day in fear about everything from the pandemic to losing my sweet baby.
The sense of worry I felt during this time was completely overwhelming. Once again, when she came home from the hospital, I thought the worry would disappear. But to my surprise, there was always something new that concerned me.
This was NOT the mama I wanted to be. Over the next 9 months, I began my journey to be the mom God called me to be. Everyday I am growing and learning how to stop worrying about my baby and start enjoying her precious life.
7 Tips Help you STOP Worrying about Your Baby
Worry in motherhood is completely normal. This is how we protect our children from potential harm. BUT, when it gets out of control we cause ourselves unnecessary stress…which isn’t good for you or your little one.
The kind of worry we are chatting about today is not Postpartum Anxiety or Depression. If you feel that you may have this, please seek out a professional counselor.
Please know that these 7 tips are just what I’ve learned from my journey with anxiety and worry. During these early months, I did spend some time with my counselor helping me to overcome it.
1. Worry = What’s Unknown
First, I want you to understand why most of us first time moms worry. Everything that we are going through is new for us. Even if we have been around a baby, there is some uncharted territory that we just can’t plan for.
Worry in motherhood is typically caused by what is unknown. If we can’t figure out what the solution is, we can easily spiral out of control. It’s completely normal to worry… especially if you are a first time mom. How we respond to the worry is what’s important. Which leads me to my next point….
2. DON’T Google.
Even the most innocent searches have lead me down a path of worry. PLEASE don’t make the same mistake I did as a first time mom…. If you are really concerned something is wrong with your baby just call your pediatrician.
Here is what I’ve learned:
- Google doesn’t know YOUR baby.
- Every baby and every mama is different so of course, every possible outcome will be there.
- Call your mom, sister, or friend and get some advice.
- If you need a symptom searched, ask your husband or a trusted friend to do it!
3. Worry will not CHANGE the outcome
I recently wrote an Instagram post about a message a got from a pregnant mama. She asked, “how do I deal with worry?”
I wish I had an answer that would make it all go away. But I shared my story about what my NICU nurse told me. “Worrying about her isn’t going to change when she goes home.”
This simple statement made me realize that no matter how much I worry, it wasn’t going to change the outcome. If I believed that God had my life planned, I couldn’t change my circumstances by worrying.
4. Talk it out. Write it Down. Get it out.
If you’re experiencing a lot of anxiety, it can be incredibly helpful to get it out. By “getting it out”, I mean find someone or something to talk with about it. Whether it’s simply a piece of paper and a pencil or a trusted friend, by writing or talking out your feelings, worries, and stresses, you are more likely to feel relief.
The more you circle about your worries in your head, the worse things will get. So, when you share your feelings, you are getting out of your own head and starting to experience some healing.
5. What can you control?
Being a mom means that there are so many things outside of your control. Not only can that be frustrating, but it can always create a great deal of worry. So, instead of dwelling on what you CAN’T do, you can stop worrying about your baby by looking at what you CAN do!
For example, SIDS is a major worry for first time and veteran moms alike. It’s scary, and just the thought of something bad happening to your baby can be paralyzing. Even though I couldn’t get rid of the statistics, I realized that I could control that she sleeps in her bassinet next to me on her back with a halo swaddle.
You see, I can’t control the prevalence of SIDS or the fact that it happens to innocent babies. But, I can look at the research and do my best to ensure that my baby is in the safest position possible for sleep. By focusing on what you can control about various situations, you can actually lower your worry. There’s just something comforting knowing that you’ve done everything you can do to keep your baby safe.
6. Pray + Give God what you CAN NOT Control.
Now that you are actively working on what you CAN control, you’ve got to learn to give God what you cannot control.
Like I said above, God gave you this baby. He designed you to be this baby’s mom, and you’ve got to remember that He is here with you every step of the way. When you’re having moments when you feel out of control, rely on God and cast your worries to Him. He will take care of what you can’t control and ease your worries.
7. Redirect your thoughts.
When moments of worry arise, it can be really helpful to redirect your thoughts. Instead of fixating on what you’re worried about, simply focus on being in the moment with your little one.
Bring yourself back to the present. Notice what your precious little one is doing. Kiss each of his toes. Notice the small details of his face. Do something with your baby that will redirect your thoughts and focus on what matters most….the fact that you’re getting to spend precious time with your precious baby.
What Other Moms are Worried About
A few weeks ago on Instagram, I asked moms ‘What worries you as a mom?’… these were some of the responses!
“That I’m going to emotionally damage her somehow. I just want to give her everything I can”
“Sickness, that I’m not doing anything right, switching from BM to formula..”
“Overall development but mainly a huge worry about autism! No clue why!”
“I know mines not a baby anymore but I still worry about her mental health and how she will inherit that from me.”
I’ve had everyone from pregnant mamas to second time moms share that they worry about their kids. It’s completely normal! I truly believe what is most important is how we handle and respond to it!
As a mom, we are never going to completely eliminate our worries. It’s just something that God gave us to try and keep our babies safe. But, our worries should not control us, and I hope that you found this list to be a great starting point to redirecting your thoughts and lessening the weight of your worries.