Trying to conceive should be the beginning of the happiest time of our lives. All the wondering and careful planning, shouldn’t we be happy? And why isn’t that so?
Well, sometimes it just doesn’t happen as soon as we would like. We start to doubt, to the point of obsessing when or if we will become pregnant. How much longer must we wait? Maybe this next test will be positive.
It seems like no matter what you do, you never ever stop thinking about getting pregnant.
No matter how hard you try.
As women who long to become mothers, we dream of it. And yet, it feels just out of our reach. With every negative pregnancy test, comes the overwhelming and scary thought of “Will I ever become a mother?”
Is there anything you can do?
Well sweet sister I’m here to tell you that there is hope!
My 10 BEST Ways to STOP Thinking About Getting Pregnant.
1. When the Time is Right…
Trust your body, and have faith that you will conceive when the time is right. This can greatly put your mind at ease, and help you relax and be at peace. So many things show us that timing is everything, from the early buds of springtime flowers to the robins eggs in the nest. There is an order and a time for things to unfold.
2. Test ONLY When Your Period is Late.
Do not test too early. Take it from a girl who started testing at 5 dpo, it’s not worth it. Wait until you have actually missed your period! There is something about the build up, the anticipation, and excitement of taking a test that is healthier than getting worried and anxious over an early negative test.
3. Find Activities you Enjoy!
Two weeks can seem terribly long when waiting for “good news.” Fill the time with activities you enjoy. Plan lunch dates with a friend, renew a forgotten friendship, date your spouse, volunteer at an animal shelter, offer to help a neighbor who needs a helping hand.
Stay busy! Keep your mind off the waiting game and on to fun social outings.
4. Social Media Detox
Speaking of social time, take a break from social media. Watching your friends post pictures of their ever growing baby bump, their baby’s milestones and happy outings with other mom pals is not what you need right now.
Focus on your real life, not the life you hope to have.
Be here, now. Fill your life with the things and people you love, and do not dwell on the perceived blessings that others are enjoying, especially if it makes you feel sad or anxious.
5. Admit you Want to be Pregnant.
Come on, girl. Just say it out loud. You want to be a mom!
There is no shame in that. You don’t need to pretend that this it doesn’t matter or that it isn’t that big of a deal. You have put your heart and soul into TTC, it’s ok to own it. Be real with who you are, and what you want.
6. Start a Hobby.
Waiting for something important is a great time to get the creative juices flowing. Local community colleges offer both credit and non credit art classes. The energy and focus needed can easily distract you from your obsessive “what if” thoughts about becoming pregnant. Or maybe you would rather do something athletic, join a gym, a hiking group or take a bicycle trip with a friend.
7. Start a Gratitude Journal.
A heart overflowing with gratitude does not have room for anxiousness and worry. Being thankful for the seemingly small things, like running water, food in the fridge and a place to sleep can help put things in context.
Yes, you want a baby, but in the midst of it all, you have the basic things in life to be safe and healthy and just thinking about those blessings can make your day a bit brighter. Write 5-10 items in your gratitude journal every day, and watch your mood lift.
Check out my free TTC Daily Journal that will help you keep track of everything!
8. Take a break from TTC forums, groups, and pages!
Maybe this is a good time to take a break from TTC forums, groups and pages. Instead of thinking about what you will miss, focus on other topics in which you are interested in connecting with people. Maybe you want to follow a page about local politics, current events or the concert scene.
Whatever you do, give yourself permission to take a breather from constantly reading all the TTC things online.
9. Realistic Time Table
Setting a goal of becoming pregnant in a year, takes the pressure off the present. It could take a few months, and even up to a year. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), 80% of women will conceive in the first 3-6 months of attempting to become pregnant.
This equates to 3-6 months of possible negative pregnancy tests before the positive one shows up. Just allowing that timeframe reduces anxiety.
10. Give yourself a permission slip.
Write yourself a permission slip that it’s ok to feel sad.
However, it’s also ok to be happy about other things in your life while in this state of uncertainty.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings, but then move forward with other activities that help you feel more positive about your life. Being honest with yourself is a way to a more peaceful existence.
Dr Northrup explains how giving yourself permission to honor both your vulnerability and strength can help you live a happier, healthier life.
5 Tips on Trying to Relax While Trying to Get Pregnant
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Practice deep breathing
Every morning and evening, while sitting in stillness, close your eyes and breathe in slowly, to the count of 4. Exhale slowly, counting to 8. Try this for 5 or 6 breaths to reduce your stress levels and relax for a few moments.
I also LOVE the App Expectful. I use it several times a week to help me calm down and think more positively.
Exchange shoulder/back rubs
Do this with a friend or your partner. Firm, but gentle pressure on large muscle areas like the upper arms and shoulders can help to relax tense muscles. And you never know where it might lead… 😉
Upon returning home from work, sit quietly in a favorite chair, eyes close, listening to music or nothing at all. There are is so much relaxation in just sitting and being still. I myself love to sit out on the back patio and watch my dog run around the yard with her favorite toys.
Choose a humorous podcast or show
Binge watching shows is such a comfortable thing to do when you feel sad or overwhelmed with emotion. Typically, a light hearted show or comedy can lift a sad or anxious mood. I personally LOVE to watch the show FRIENDS.
Take yourself on a date to the library
Browse sections that have topics of interest to you. (Not baby related, though). You may end up reading all about raising tropical plants indoors in a northern climate.
How to be Patient While Trying to Get Pregnant
Here are three ways to enhance your ability to be patient while TTC:
- Collect inspirational quotes that speak to your soul regarding being a patient person. Write those in a journal or write them on post it notes to serve as reminders on your bathroom mirror, fridge door, etc.
- Make a list of things you have had to wait for in the past. Chances are, those events worked themselves out. This is also a good time to bring up the thankful list, as well.
- Choose an activity or project that takes longer than the time you are waiting. For instance, start a craft or home project with a due date after the time you hope to know if you got pregnant. The time will go by faster, and you will have a tangible product to show for your efforts.
Over all, remember, the stress hormones can make it difficult for your body to conceive. Relax, take things in stride, plan for fun social times and maybe you will enjoy these days of waiting, after all.
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